I am a Failure.

12th of May, 2025.

The day I am admitting to myself what a failure I am.

The year is running out; we are almost halfway through the year, and soon we’ll be concluding 2025 and moving on to 2026. If I haven’t yet said this to myself, I am saying it now; I am a failure.

While everyone is going around, living their life, trying to make lemonade out of the lemon life keeps on throwing at them; I am watching each day of my life fly past like I am only a passenger princess, not the driver. I have cried a billion times this year, hit myself a thousand times and told myself I was the problem a hundred+ plus times; what I haven’t done is encourage myself, believe in myself and actually take actions.

Summer will soon be here and I will make the best of it; the overbeaten lie I told myself when I felt down and under accomplished in school. The semester ended; the holiday is here but I am still laying around like a here sack of beans unable to lift itself.

Not anymore, this morning I am admitting what a failure I am. Yes, I have done a number of things this year, yes, I have just completed a school session; but my self-sabotaging will soon sink me to the bottom.

So yes, I am a failure; because I have failed to believe in my abilities, I have failed to keep a relationship with God, I have failed to pick myself up and dust the sand off my dress, I have failed to leave my comfort zone, I have failed to try things I knew I could, I have failed to believe in the words of others who say I can do things, I have failed to work towards the life I want.

The only thing I have succeeded in doing is admitting what a failure I am and laying back down as I watch my life crumble even further before me.